you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
