What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
