we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
