so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
