Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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