If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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