at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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