Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize