I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
