Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
