Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize