there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
