and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Bring me that man meat
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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