The maid of honor just puked.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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