Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
