can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
