1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
