ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
