Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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