they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
