So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
