forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
