he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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