We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
