just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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