Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
