not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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