Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I will be naked everywhere
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How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.