Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?