OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel