oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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