addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
