I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize