New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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