Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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