Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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