some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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