Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
