I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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