great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
