Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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