I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
