i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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