Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
