whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
