ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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