Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
