respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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