My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
They have beer where we have blood.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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