Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
