Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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