Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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