I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
