The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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