My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
