oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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