i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
