...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
