Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
