well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
