We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
