he wants to bone in the snuggie
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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